11 ducks all in a row; 9 will stay, 2 will go

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11 ducks all in a row; 9 will stay, 2 will go

Eight of the bachelorettes go on a group date. (source: ABC/Rick Rowell) Eight of the bachelorettes go on a group date. (source: ABC/Rick Rowell)

By Jamie Fromberger
WATE's The Bachelor Blogger

As we enter this week's episode of The Bachelor, we are in for a treat as we are rewarded with TWO nights of compelling drama instead of one.

We say goodbye to the familiar walls that make up the house these folks have known as the infamous Bachelor Pad, and head off to the beautiful land of Montana for some one-on-one, some two-on-one, and some groups-on-one. I'm starting to wonder exactly what kind of show this is.

Eleven girls remain, and as they make themselves comfy and cozy in their new digs, conversations swirl about in regards to who will get which date, with the two-on-one clearly being the date to avoid.

Lindsay's name, which you might remember as the wedding dress wearing whacko, is written on the one-on-one date. Although I was personally hoping for some desperation and "out there" antics, she surprised us by turning out to be normal. They took a romantic ride on the signature black helicopter, enjoyed a quiet picnic for two with what I thought was AMAZING views, and felt no shame in partaking in a hot and heavy make out session. That was followed by an evening fireside dinner where she was granted the rose.

This date could only be topped with a concert by Sara Darling as they slow danced on a platform surrounded by the entire town of Whitefish Montana. C-U-T-E.

In theory. While the date, the dance and the dinner seemed to go smoothly, and while she did walk away with the rose at the end, I don't see this girl making it much farther. Some people could make out with a tree if they are bored enough, and I'm not feeling sincerity in the "passion" between them. I give her two weeks. MAX.

Next we venture on the group date, with Selma, AshLee, Robyn, Desiree, Daniella, Sarah, Lesley, and Catherine. The girls are taken out to the sticks, where they are presented with a farmer-esque obstacle course equipped with sawing logs and milking goats. Divided into two teams, Chris Harrison tells them that only the winning team will remain on the date and the losing team will head home immediately after.

The red team, consisting of Selma, Desiree, Robyn, and Sarah came through with the win, due mainly to Desiree (who I consider a mini-Katie Holmes) taking one for the team and guzzling fresh squeezed goat milk as fast as possible. As the blue team was sent back to the house, the red team dolled up for an evening with Sean and some much anticipated "alone" time.

But what fun would that be? Clearly whoever Sean was eager to spend some time with wasn't on the winning team, so he kindly sent an invite back to the house offering the blue team the chance to come join the party, which they gladly did.

Somehow Tierra misinterpreted this as her opportunity to show her psycho colors, sneak up on him during an interview, and pull him aside to voice her opinions, her insecurities, and in more ways than one assure him that she was confident he would make the right choice on his two-on-one date. Because that's normal behavior?

When the news broke of the blue team's impending arrival. however, you can imagine the dismay the red team felt, especially poor Des who sloshed down some warm unpasteurized goat milk for nothing.

At this point, we begin to see Angry Robyn emerge, and that scary, not so pretty, side of her remained through the entire duration of the show. Girl, ugly has got your number.

Finishing off the night and shocking everyone, Daniella was given the rose, when instead I think she should be given some Q-tips with make-up remover to get rid of the constant smudges, and some root touch up because her current hair situation is less Ombre and more white trash.

And now on to the two-on-one date. Sean has chosen Tierra and Jackie to take on this date, with only one girl to receive a rose at the end and the other one to be sent home immediately.

While Jackie is the nice girl on the outside, Tierra is clearly the manipulative one in the house, and sets Jackie up for failure by being super B***h to her prior to the date. I thought Tierra's aggressive attack during the group date, you know, the one she wasn't a part of, might hurt her chances. Honestly, what guy wants a girl that insecure, that whines and cries all the time, and wants to always be the exception to the rule? Not many, but Jackie was taking the opportunity she had alone with him to divert his question about her hopes in to an answer about how pathetic, fake, and conniving Tierra was. That only made her look MORE psycho and insecure, ultimately leaving her rose-less and homeward bound.

Well played T, well played.

Moving on to the rose ceremony at the end of the night, Sean witnesses Tierra involvement in some cattiness and bickering with angry Robyn, and yet again pulls her aside to hear her agenda. I mean, worries. No, I mean agenda.

Playing him like a fiddle, she rattles on about how everyone in the house is so mean to her, and she's such a nice girl, blah blah blah.

First rule? Anything you "proclaim" yourself to be, is something you are merely trying to convince everyone else and yourself that you are. (On that note, I'm a fantastic runner who only eats organic and has the highest IQ in the world. For. Real.).

But her wicked ways work and we find ourselves saying goodbye to Robyn at the end of the night, joining Jackie on the long trip home.

In part two of this week's Bachelor, we will be down to nine girls who look as if they take the same crazy pill at once and decide to flaunt their bikini bodies in some below freezing water. The previews tell us that Tierra can even rock an oxygen tube in a bed of plush white pillows, sheets, and comforters, while wrapping Sean around her crooked little finger. Will he fall for it? Or will he finally see who she is?

Until next time!

The opinions expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not reflect the opinions of WATE, ABC, The Bachelor or any related persons.

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