By Jamie Fromberger
WATE's The Bachelor Blogger
Let me start by saying this week's episode was cra-zy. Twists, turns, surprises and a shocking elimination, mounted with sky high piles of baggage and drama from these girls leaves me counting down the days until next week's episode.
We began this week with our six remaining girls: AshLee, Desiree, Tierra, Catherine, Lesley, and Lindsay. As the girls and Sean head to the Caribbean for some sun and relaxation, the daunting promise of next weeks "hometown" dates looms around on everyone's mind. They know that only four girls will survive the next rose ceremony, and those four girls will be bringing Sean home to meet the fam.
As the dates begin, AshLee -- who is my favorite so far -- is given the first one-on-one date. She and Sean spend the date jumping off a ginormous yacht and rolling around in the sand. They make out in total missionary position, yet not making it awkward for anyone (or everyone).
Sean presses Ash for some insight on Tierra, and while she could have (should have) completely thrown Tierra under the bus and then backed over it several times. Instead, she remained as "nice" as she could about the situation, but she still enlightened Sean on what a nutjob this girl is.
As their conversation went on, Sean questioned AshLee about any skeletons in her closet that he should know about. That's when the big shocker came. She told us she got married for a hot minute in high school. She was 17 years old the marriage was a form of rebellion against her adoptive mom. She married her high school boyfriend, but was divorced by senior year. Unfortunately, we were denied specifics on the exact time, who signed the legal paperwork, if they are still in touch, and whether it was a true "divorce" or just the good old celebrity-ish annulment. However, she built it up so big before telling him, that I half expected her to say she was part cannibal after having a sex change when she was 20 because she gave birth to a litter of puppies.
So both Sean AND I were like, "Oh, you were married? That's nada!" The date ended with lots of reassuring smooches, and AshLee heading back to the house to bond with the girls over their hatred of Tierra.
Next one-on-one date? Our favorite girl we love to hate, Tierra. God love her honesty about hating the bugs, the sweat, and her make-up pouring off, but she gave quite the show of a girl having a blast in her cut off jean shorts, too tall platform shoes, and midriff baring plaid shirt.
She swindled Sean into buying her tons of jewelry and treats while on their date. (Is that his money or the producers money?) She then confronted him at the end about his distance and coldness.
Sean questioned Tierra about her antics, and we got the drama and tears of the "everyone is out to get me" sing-song again. Whispering in his ear that she is falling in love with him, their date ends with what seems to be a solid connection and having me completely convinced she unfortunately will be sticking around a tad longer.
Now it's time for the group date. Sean thinks it's funny and clever to wake up the girls at 4:45 in the morning, WITH a camera, to see what they look like without makeup on. I would have shown him what a knuckle sandwich looks like, but again, I'm not on the show.
Given five minutes to get dressed, the girls then spend the day on what I consider is BY FAR the worst date ever. They drive from one end of the island to see the sunrise, and spend the rest of the day driving to the other end to see the sunset.
While he seemed to spend a lot of time with Desiree (mini Katie Holmes) on this date, I was SHOCKED he gave the rose to Lindsey (wedding dress whacko).
Catherine (Miss Hawaiian Tropic) just seemed to "be there." Based on her personality and appearance, I think she could care less about Sean whatsoever, and is just enjoying the sun, sand, and surf of the whole thing.
Seeing Lindsey get the rose completely shocked me and immediately threw off my prediction from last week. They would SO not make cute babies together. Hello?? Ugh.
So, the date ends and a commercial break happens, leaving me wallowing in my wine trying to game guess ahead what's going to happen.
Last one-on-one of the week goes to Leslie, who talks about her lake house and her summers spent away with the family. While Sean could have (should have) been hearing dollar signs cha-chinging in the background, he was less than interested in Lindsey or anything she had to say. She was more interested in swirling around in her neon pink floor length sheer skirt (that was SUPER cute, BTW). Even the slowest of slow could tell there was no romance between these two and chances are she'd be visiting her lake house solo.
Now, for the FUN part.
Back at the house, Ash and Tierra get INTO it. Lots of yelling and little sense making. Tierra claims to be the victim and an innocent bystander, while AshLee calls her out on her rude behavior and lack of personality.
Clarifying everything, Tierra tells us she can't control her eyebrows OR her face, mumbles something about Botox (she did or she didn't?) and says she would walk around with a smile on her face 24/7 BUT her face would get tired.
Um, didn't your first grade teacher ever tell you it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile? Mine did.
She then rambles on about her "sparkle" and how NO ONE is going to take that from her. Coincidentally, Sean walks in on the tail end of this outburst, hoping to grab Tierra for a little meet and greet outside with his big sis so she can get some insight on who Tierra really is.
Enough is enough for him and he sends her packing on the spot. I spent the next few minutes debating whether she was trying to push tears out or push gas out, because either way she had the scrunched up look on her face like she was in pain and trying to get SOMETHING to exit a crevice of her body.
Fast forward to her exit in the car, and she is basically growling at herself that NO ONE can take her sparkle away. The way she was saying it, I was ready for her to start punching herself in the face to show how tough she is
Back at the house, the rose ceremony approaches and the girls are clueless as to the situation until Sean informs them Tierra has left (yay!) and there is no cocktail party anymore, just a ceremony.
Just a thought, but five girls drinking together isn't so much of a "cocktail party" anyway, but deny them their drinks if you must, and pass out the roses.
Being left without the red and green thorny ticket to "hometown dates" was Leslie (shocking), leaving AshLee, Lindsey, Desiree, and Catherine to pack up their belongings, grab their 1/4 of a boyfriend and head home to see the family.
What struck me as odd was the amount of emotion Catherine had about Leslie going home. Yes, they were the butch-iest of gals and they did share a bedroom (bed), but was there something more going on between them? Who actually cries because someone else got sent home who had a better connection? How did she even know what they had in common?
But as Sean globetrots around next week to visit each girl's family, we see a lack of approval from Catherine's sisters, AshLee running with her pocketbook-size pup, Lindsey's military dad acting hardcore, and Desiree's brother going all "white trash" on him in what looks to be some sort of physical alteration.
All I can say is, I AM GAME. BRING IT!
I'm still betting on Ash to finish this thing out strong, but positive something "shocking" will happen along the way. There's a good chance Catherine will come out of the closet and bow out gracefully, Desiree will quit when the free food stops, and Lindsey will possibly fake claim having a baby to trap Sean.
It could happen. Until next time.
The opinions expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not reflect the opinions of WATE, ABC, The Bachelor or any related persons.
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